A Brief Note …

So, a few days ago, I started wanting to write again. Just to put my thoughts down again and see if I can make sense again of the things going on around me and inside my head. My life lately has been kind of messy, and I find just talking about things is not really helping.

So I thought I should write about it. The problem is that I tend to share what is “convenient” not the truth. By truth I mean I sanitize my feelings and don’t write about what’s bothering me, just what’s bugging me at the moment.

Then I had another idea. If I’m going to write, I’ll restart my blog. If I’m going to do it, I need to change one thing. As hard as it is for me to admit this, but my last attempts at blogging my life weren’t truthful. I never lied about anything. I just hid things that I was ashamed of or that frightened me.

If the post I was writing got to close to the truth, I would simply stop writing or drop it. I tried to avoid those places that I had come to fear, not really realizing that is where I should go. I didn’t want to upset people or make them feel bad. Even in trying to write my own feelings down, I took others into consideration.

I’m not going to do that anymore.

I will still be considerate of others. I will try not to hurt people with my view of things, but I will not change my truth to satisfy their egos. My want to fix everything will not override my need to be honest with myself or you, gentle reader.

Who’s to stop me from slipping back into old forms? That’s where you come in: if you feel that I’m blowing smoke up somebody’s ass to make them happy, let me know. Message me or drop me. I may resent bring called out, but it’s better than letting the lie fester and grow.



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